At Microsoft’s E3 2018 showcase, we were waiting for news about a new Gears of War title. While we eventually got what we wanted with Gears of War 5, the actual best part of the show was the reveal of the Gears of War collaboration with figurine company Funko Pop.

You have to understand, I was on the floor of the Microsoft theater for that show. Microsoft brought its best showing in years with a solid amount of games coming out, although I was slightly disappointed at the console exclusive. They had fifty titles out, and eighteen world premieres. That’s a good showing. Kingdom Hearts III with that end trailer twist. Dying Light 2. Cyberpunk 2077. Let’s not forget those major studio acquisitions like Ninja Theory. They were all memorable moments, but looking back, Gears Pop was the game that got an entirely inverted reaction and should be a highlight.

Here’s the play by play. The Gears logo came on the screen, with the red, the gear icon. The audience was starting to go wild, and then the logo burst with the Funko Pop characters and you could hear the excitement in the arena cut like a knife. It was classic Peer Schneider excitement to stony-faced disappointment. This reminded me of the Square Enix trolling where they came out for PlayStation Experience and announced a port of Final Fantasy VII coming to the PlayStation 4, in its blocky glory.

The reaction should be considered a highlight this year, because it went from being the announcement that we think we wanted, to what we got… even as we got the game we wanted anyway.

Thank you for reading a lovely piece of satire, from yours truly.